I'm thankful today for Death.
You ask " Why Tiff, are you going crazy?" I'd like to tell you of a wonderful thing that happened to me this last Friday evening.
In our ward there is this dear, sweet, precious of a woman named Ella. (I do love that name by the way) My mom and I had signed up last Sunday to take dinner to her and her son for this Friday past. She was not doing very well. She'd been in and out of the hospital with terminal medical issues. Friday was a BUSY day, Mother(the love that she is) not feeling to hot that day made sure that the meal was ready.
Going back really quick. Maki and I had reservations to pick up some firewood in Placerville that afternoon. As we were embarking on the journey to Placerville, the rains came down. Maki' windshield wipers were useless, completely falling apart. This of course made me very nervous! So as we were driving up the hill, off to the right of us was a SUV that was on it's top with it's wheels still going. I said to Maki "Pull over, let me out!" My first thought was " Oh shoot, it's an SUV there's probably kiddos in there." As I got closer I could see a woman's leg moving outside of the passenger window. I started to run up to the car. I began calling out to her. She responded with "I'm okay, I'm coming out!" I asked " who is in there?" She said she was the only one in the car. She was able to turn her car off and climb right out of her SUV with only a minute scrape on her wrist. Miraculous I know! I still can't believe it! Now needless to say, there were two other women, Maki and I at the scene. No one else stopped to help. Guess what? I was completely calm the entire time. (Thank you medical training) I knew exactly what to do in that situation. Soon after the CHP, Fire and ambulance came, and we were dismissed to leave.We hopped back into the truck and off we were to continue on our adventure. We grabbed the firewood and than came home.
As I got home, Mother had just finished making this meal for Ella and her family. I gathered it up and made my way to her home just a few minutes away. As I pulled up to this tiny little white house thoughts went raising through my head of this sweet little woman. 92 years old, frail, weak, hunched over, but ALWAYS a smile on that dear little face. I was anxious to see her again. I went to the door and knocked and her son came to the door and as I was invited to come in, there she was.
Laying on a hospice bed, in the center of her tiny little home, eyes closed, breathing machine forcing oxygen into her lungs, mouth wide open, rales sound coming from within her and curled up in an upright fetal position. I knew that she was so very close to going back home. Now as morbid as it sounds I've always wondered what it was like when someone dies. What is the feeling? What are the sounds? Well, that day I got to experience it all for just a few moments. What a sweet experience that was. The spirit was so strong in that tiny little home. There she was in the center of her home. I felt the calmest peace. Amongst all of the busyness that I'd had that day, I was able to feel the love of my Heavenly Father. His spirit was very near in that home that night. I got back into my car after leaving and contemplated on what a choice experience that was. I'm not one to say that I like death. I don't like it at all but it was a very bittersweet experience. Losing a loved one is a very sad time. Just a few short hours later Ella left this earthly life. How blessed I feel that I had that experience to see my dear friend again before she slipped away into the spirit world where she was able to rejoice with her husband, parents, siblings, and friends. Not only did she impact my life over the many years that I've known her, but this day was the day that I was able to feel the closeness of the veil. What a blessing it is to be here on the earth. I sure wish that I could leave my earthly state as calmly and peacefully as she had that day. I shall never forget the sweetness that I felt that night.
A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades
on the horizon when someone at my side says
She is gone, Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large now as when I last saw her.
Her diminished size and total loss from my
sight is in me, not in her.
And just at that moment, when someone at my side
says she is gone, there are others who are watching her
coming over their horizon and other voices take up
a glad shout - There she comes!
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